cat68

OH MY GOD he just won't sleep today!!! and he's tired as hell, Olivier just won't go down for a nap...that's it I am closing the baby monitor...

Current Location: Basement
Current Mood: stressed
Current Music: baby crying

Well he arrived early, on November 6 at 11:52 am Olivier was born at 7 lbs...he's the cutest most adorable hungry little farter you've ever seen.  The delivery was difficult, the resident cut through my bladder so that was nice...stayed longer in the hospital but we're home and he is a boob man, wants to feed every 2 hour, makes for some tired parents...I got pics on Facebook (daddy is Mr. Kodak moment:)) and I got sore boobs, breast feeding is hard and painful and nurses are not always helpful...but he's so dang cute!!! (Hey he's my son of course he is the cutest LOL!)

Current Mood: tired

About a week to go (C-section on the 14th) dilated at 1cm and a half, feel as big a a house.  Can't sleep, totally congested Gak! it's coming...

Current Mood: nervous

Well I am scheduled for my C-section on November 14 and well kind of scared about it not crazy about being numbed from my chest all the way down...Plus my mother-in-law tells me tonight after I told her that the doctor said i was dilated at 1cm and a half that she thinks I'll give birth next week, i did not like hearing that!!! I am praying to god I don't go into early labor, its freaking me out! god i wish Icould levitate that baby out of there, get him out without pushing or cutting or having a big f-ing NEEDLE poked in MY BACK!!!!
 
Can you tell I'm scared...

Current Location: my basement
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: the sound of my own fear

Well today is my last day at work, I'm off on maternity leave...it feels weird to think that I'll be gone for a year, I'm a bit worried that they'll get by without me and feel they don't need me anymore when I come back, it may be silly to think that but I can't help it...oh well, gotta be a mommy and take care of the future generation:) well maybe I'll get more time to read which is ALWAYS a plus:)

Current Mood: thoughtful

It's like clockwork I tell you the day you hit the 3rd trimester your ability to sleep well goes out the window.  My belly is so big whichever side I pick to lie on the baby isnot happy and kicks up a storm so I have to switch orlie on my back with my legs up or maybe try a pillow between my knees, I'm surrounded by pillows...dreams are getting weirder and I end up waking up with heartburn, last weird one I was being yelled at by Sarah Palin it woke me up and I swear I thought smoke was going to come out after I burped...thank god for TUMS...also lately I seem to start laughing for no reason, I even woke up from a dream laughing...all I remember is someone sayng "Even the cats are bored" and it got me laughing for 15 minutes...being pregnant can be so weird sometimes...

Current Mood: weird

Ok I'm crabby today even bitchy, was pretty much all week-end...I'm pregnant and it should be a special time for me well ever since I got pregnant 1. my b-friend's cousin's wife announced she was pregnant for the 3rd time...great steal my f-ing thunder why don't you, they ahd a big party for that occasion it's just your 3RD TIME!!!!  Whereas it's happening to me for the FIRST TIME!!!

2. my b-friend's sister her story has been going on since this winter, she met a guy, his family thought she as too young to date (she is 23) she was meeting the guy and talking to him in secret, hiding stuff failing at school my father in law found out he blew a huge fuse she continues to screw up even more.  So the second she has an emotion he drops everything and runs to her.

3. his brother (25 years old) bought a new model mountain bike the company has it on backorder well his brother calls my b-friend for my b-friend to call the company and ask when he'll get his bike practically every wekk.  Then this week-end he calls my b-friend saying he found a store in the US that has a bike and wants to buy, can my boyfriend call and arange it all and lend him money?  We're at a baby clothing store to buy things for the baby and his brother called 50 million times and  the guy from the US store also calls my b-friend to make the arrangements for the goddamn bike.  Can I have this time to enjoy with my b-friend our upcoming baby PLEASE!!!! 

This is getting ridiculous, maybe I'm overreacting about  this but I'm tired of everything pushing my pregnancy in the background....

Current Mood: angry

 Enough with the hormones already!!!! I'm tired and cranky and junior kicks non-stop!!! I'm hungry and left too fast this morning and left my snack on the kitchen counter grrrr!!! 

The feeling of clothes on my shoulders drives me crazy because I'm hot all the time, this annoyance is getting old by now... 

Current Mood: angry

Had my 20 week ultrasound (on week 21 but still) a few weeks ago and it is confirmed that I am expecting a boy...and from the kicking going on in my belly it sure feels like a boy he can't stay still like his daddy.  Blue clothes have already started to arrive at my door:) my boyfriend's mom started buying already that kid is going one well dressed little guy.

Current Mood: tired

Well it has been quite a while and stuff has happened but I guess I was a bit supersticious about posting it but I'm pregnant, going on 18 weeks, on July 8 if the baby is cooperative we will know if it is a boy or a girl.  It's quite an experience I wouldn't have minded skipping the nause and gagging after sneezing (thank god for anti-nausea medication) but in the 2nd trimester it's going good and i am actually gaining weight, which is a feat for me, about 10 lbs at this point.

I tell you hearing your baby's heartbeat is something and then seeing it for the first time it blows you away seeing it move and watching that little heart beat away like that, it just makes you think about who you are and OH MY GOD THERE IS A PERSON IN THERE THAT i'M GOING TO BE TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR!!! I get these little worry moments at times but i guess it's part of the game, I should feel it moving soon...I can't wait I hope it will be a read er like me but also an athlete like its daddy...God I can't wait!!

 Well monday afternoon I got a tooth extracted, the last upper right molar.  Feels weird, there is a hole in my mouth, a breeze is breezing through, I'm sure if I try hard enough I can whistle when I talk...ok I exagerate but after excruciating pain for a couple of days I go to an Endodonttist (that's specialist of root canals) she numbs half my face and throat (which makes me gag for about 20 minutes) and after not being able to install the operative field metal ring thingie that she needs to do the root canal she says she can't perform the root canal, what do I want to do?  

Only other alternative is extraction, so before I freak out even more (cause I am scared-petrified-like-you-wouldn't-believe of dentists and anything that has to do with futzing around with my teeth) I say "do it!, extract away!" and she did, it took about 25-30 minutes of pushing, gum pushing and plyer pulling-swinging and I thought at some point that the molar was holding on for dear life and would never come out, well it started to give a wee bit, a little bit more and finally it gave and fell in my mouth she took it out and after checking it out said "well it would have been ok with a root canal" that tugged a bit at my heart and I was minus a tooth. 

I went home and after many sleepless nights and painful days I started crying, I felt a part of me was gone, how sappy is that! I cried for my tooth...now there is a hole in the back of my mouth my tongue feels weird against the gum...apparently my jaw is weirdly formed on that side and the bone was leaning too much and the dentist didn't have enough space to do the work...Buh bye molar, I'll miss you!!

Current Mood: exhausted

Since I've posted I know, it's been crazy busy but as I caught up today on te people in LJ I quickly zoned in on ladyofthe_lake's and savageknight's posts.  My God!  I really feel for you guys, As a person who spent a looot of time in hospitals (although I was not an infant but still a kid) I saw how my parents went through it and iit's tough.  Hang in there, it will get better, you are exhausted and scared and sad and all the worst emotions in the world but she knows you are there and she feels how much you love her.  Hospitals suck and they are scary and extremely boring when you have to wait (whether you are a patient or a parent).  You are in my thoughs and prayers and I send you the best vibrations and hang in there, I've been the patient for a long time (still am) and it can only get better from here.  Let me know if you need anything HUGS HUGS HUGS...

He was a great guy, the first guy tosing French disco. He was full of life and he will be missed...Rest in Peace Georges...

I had my yearly evaluation. a few months ago the 6 people left in my department were put under the call center as part of a reorganization of the company. Since then it's been a quantity over quality kind of deal. being told every day how unproductive we were because we couldn't spit out 85 letters a day. Well the Team Leader that was assigned to us because ours is on mat leave is a girl who has never been a team leader, she harrassed a guy in my team so badly that he left the office in an ambulance, he had an anxiety attack. She didn't like being proven wrong by him so she harrassed him until he snapped.

That team leader did our evaluation, basically all of us except one person got under the note de passage in our evaluation that little bitch slammed us all in our evaluation and she didn't even have the guts to meet with us when the time came. She was conveniently in a meeting with her boss. Because of her we can't apply to any job inside the company, we won't get a raise nor a bonus and we'll be on a development plan which pretty much means that someone will be up our ass pushing us to producemore than we can do. They've been trying to get rid of us ever since we went under the Call Centre they succeeded in getting a few people to quit and now they are treating us like we're shit. Apparently 3 yers going on 4 of good evaluations and now this one that makes us look like complete incompetent shits is normal to them their answer to me, when I asked How come I've been here almost 4 years and all my evaluations were over the note de passage and now I get this bashing like all my passed years meant nothing, was it's all in the past let's lok into the future.

Sure a future of harrassment, and frustration. I am looking for a job I get interview but it's always "it was a hard decision between you and this other person but we're going to go with the other person"

So tired of this shit...

Current Mood: frustrated

sucks. It's frustrating at best especially when you want to skedaddle the f-ck away from your actual job because the bosses are making the people's lives a living hell. Or maybe I'm just tired and need my vitamin B12 shot.

Current Mood: tired

can't I be paid to read books for a living?  That would be my dream job...

Current Mood: Boo

I've been so damn busy at work with people quitting and restructuration I haven't had time to catch up on LJ and much less read which is sacriligeous!!! I'm on a well desrved and needed 2 weeks vacation and looking fior a new job.  It seems taht by restructuring the departments and merging us (Correspondence department) with the Call Centre we are now to be on the phones and I hate it with a passion.  Not that I haven't given it a chance, i have tried it out for a few weeks to be fair and even though i may sound good onthe phones I get aboslutely nothing out of it, plus having to explain shares and corporate actions to people who act like complete doorknobs is not my idea of a fulfilling job.

To top it all off and make our life even f-ing better, they cut our lunch hour, didn't compensate by letting us leave earlier and have no intention of adjusting our salary, hence me wanting to find another job before my vacation comes to an end and be able to slap my resignation on the incompetent moron of a director's desk and tell her I am out of there.  It sucks cause I love the company, I've been there 3 years and it's only that department that truly sucks the company on the whole is one of the best I've ever worked for.  Theere are no openings in other departments and I (including everybody else in Correspondence) have a feeling that they are trying to piss us off and make us leave.

I'm tired of fighting with them and I'm tired of trying to tell them that the objectives of spitting out 85 letters a day is not attainable.  It's like talking to a damn wall they don't want to listen.  I'm done and I want out.

Current Mood: angry

while I was in the metro on my way home, I looked on the other side and saw a man walking slowly and laughing to himself, probably remembering something funny that happened not so long ago or a long ago funny little memory, I don't know why but it brightened my day just a tiny bit.  It's fun knowing I'm not the only one that can laugh alone remembering of funny stuff...

Current Mood: pleased

Someone at work could not believe I had not seen the first season of Grey's Anatomy, well one morning she dropped the DVDs on my desk and said that I had to watch it cause i was seriously missing out.

Boy was she right! yowza what a show, it was so good, now I can't wait to see season 2 and it's not even out yet, only in September:(  There are so many things I want to know, it ended in such a cliffhanger...I even had a thought for ladyofthe_lake I now understand what the fuss is about, Dr. McDreamy has a lot of explaining to do...Now I'll have to make do with Big Brother All Stars and it's not even on every night...boo!

Current Mood: newly obssessed

Because of the leaves my satellite dish is always on the fritz Argh! Bell ExpressVu is no help all they can say is that they can send a technician but it'll cost me $75 a visit. Now that's customer service, they really want to keep me as a customer...oh well...

My cat has the whinies lately, all he seems to do is whine, whine, whine instead of meowing. Like an old man that's always complaining...Ha ha ha! First day of work after a week of vacation, boy it sucked to be back. The first day is always the hardest.

Input the CD my b-friend's sister gave me for my b-day in June it's about time I load it on my I-Pod. The Fray CD "How to Save a Life" apparently it's good music, we'll see...

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Gordon Ramsey yelling